I haven't sat around waiting for someone in a long time, especially someone I am fully aware I don't have a future with, but yesterday, at the ripe age of 20 I went back to being a 14 year old girl. I waited all day for the appropriate time to call him, having sent a majority of the afternoon clock watching. When he answered, he told me he'd ring me back 'in a bit', to me, and I believe most of the human race, that means about 15 minutes or so. Apparently not. Two hours later he finally rings me and asks if I'd like to go to a mutual friends house, a little bit disgruntled I agree and arrange to go around in about 20 minutes. Just to get out of the house, I jump in my car and plan to drive the long way around, clear my head and calm myself down. Whilst driving I receive a text 'Nath needs to go to his mates, I don't know when I'm going to be around.. Shall we rearrange for one day this week?' I almost threw my phone at my car windscreen - this is just the start of a downward spiral. If he doesn't want to see me, just say? Surely... I ended up in my ex boyfriend's arms sobbing my eyes out over how lonely I am and how much I hate the male race. Thankfully, he is a genuinely amazing bloke and refused to take advantage of me, just gave me a cuddle and moped up the tears that came between my ludicrous sobs. So, this morning at work I gave him a call, one of a completely work related nature just to let him know that he'd pissed me off. 'You didn't text me back last night babe', to which I simply replied 'I know' and went on to talk about work, refusing completely to acknowledge that anything had ever happened between the two of us. I'll be honest, I don't know what I expected but it really made things seem real: being, *shudder*, the other woman will only ever end in tears. Thus, I've given up. I am no longer going to be her.
To drown my sorrows I'm off for lunch in a moment with a boy who was once-upon-a-time one of my long term ex-boyfriend's best friends. Thankfully, they've drifted now but it still seems to scare him a little. We'll see how this one pans out.
Something is telling me that I'm just desperate to be liked.
Your blog is fascinating! I love it :) You rarely find blogs as good yours.I was wondering if you could check out my blog? www.accordingtoiffa.blospot.com Is it worthy of a follow back and perhaps a little feedback on areas where I should improve in? xxx
ReplyDeleteUnfortunatly, this is just my life written down! But thank you so much :) I've followed you back, will message you :) Thank you for commenting! xx
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