Can it work? Really? Can you ever just be Friends With Benefits?

For the last four years I've jumped from relationship to relationship. I've had four serious boyfriends. One taught me that you can be friends with your exs, the second taught me how to really love someone but also how to hate, the third deserved so much more than me and the fourth was my boss, that was, erm, interesting to say the least. 

Now i'm single for the first time since I was sixteen years old, I claim all I want to do is have fun. Since I broke up with my boss, I've fooled around with three guys, slept with one and kissed uncountable amounts. Yes I'm aware that is slutty but it has been five months. 

Now, one of them wants to be 'friends with benefits'. My head said 'yeah why not', my heart may as well have broken into a thousand pieces the second I nodded my head. 

This guy has a girlfriend. We talked about him below, remember his 'situation'? We've been talking for months because of work but from the second I left his side on Thursday night to right now, I've not stopped thinking about him. I keep asking myself when I became that girl. The girl that every other girl dreads, hates and claims they'll never become. The other part me, pretending to fully understand his 'situation', says why the hell not? 

How long will I cope with having a F-W-B for before I'm crying myself to sleep at night? Probably not that long. At all. In fact, I'd give myself two weeks, and that's pushing it. Experience shows that as a girl you can't just watch films, get drunk and fuck somebody without eventually falling for them - particularly when from the word go you are stupidly attracted to them. Where do I go from here? 

I am quite fond of my heart being in one piece, so why am I playing these games?

You Try To Upstage Us So We Walk Like We're Famous

I've become one of those people. The kind of person who walks around annoyingly happy with my iPad under my arm, trilby on my head and ray bans on, even when it isn't all that sunny. I work hard for everything I own. I've always been the kind of girl that other girls dislike. Me and my best friend are the girls the boys want out on a lads night and the girls they'll take on holiday with them. We really wouldn't touch them, pinky promise. I've never been the kind of person to party every night of the week, i've always been too sensible. I want to be a party animal just for a little while.  I'll buy you a drink if you'll dance on the table with me.

I just want to be the kind of person who people want to know. 

Be Naked When I'm Home...

I deserve you to hurt me, I really do. I know I like you too much for this game we're playing to remain. I know you're "situation", alleged situation anyway. You've got a long term girlfriend whose really your 'best friend', you don't have sex all that often, you even went on holiday and didn't once. You say she's your closest friend but you just can't let go, until you have to move away. Other people say you're with her because she's a model, so what do you see in me? We met on a Thursday and fucked on the Saturday, it'll happen again and again: I hope. 

After a chain of drunken kisses and singing along to your tattoos, we hopped into a cab, fumbling on the back seat. Back in your car as we waited for the others to get home you told me I was beautiful, but you meant it in a rip-your-clothes-off kind of way. We had the filthiest sex I've ever known, the scratches on your back and carpet burn on your knees in the morning showed that. When we got in bed that night, you held me in your arms and sang 'can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? I could really use a wish right now, wish right now.' All I could do was wish that in the morning you'd kiss me again. My wish came true. 

With music playing all night we awoke to the lion king and laughed together, singing and kissing and pleasing each other a little more. You made spiderman and the hulk 69 and we laughed about step brothers. Why can't I help but feel you are my ideal man, when really all you are is a cheat. 

You won't break my heart, I won't let you get close enough.

twenty year old day dreamer seeks emotional outlet

In a weird way, I'm looking for a release

20 year old, aspiring writer with an unhealthy obsession for Biffy Clyro, generally my views are politically incorrect and some might describe me as filthy minded.

I'm going to work in London soon, I'm scared. I tend to always fancy the wrong boys, maybe that is where I'm going wrong and should start looking at men. I write metaphorically more often than not and am struggling to contain my desire to do this right now. Once, I dated my boss. I had a tattoo and the day after I did it I regretted it and cried, I've grown to love it now. I claim I have really good taste in music but if you get in my car you'll find Miley Cyrus albums. Until this year I've never had a real female best friend - you know the kind you could sit in the bath with - now I've got one, one of my biggest fears is losing her. One day I'm going to live near Newquay, I cannot wait. If you've seen the Biffy Clyro @ Wembley DVD you'll have seen me crying to Machines. I've had my heart broken once but broken four, I recognise that this makes me seem like a heartless bitch. Unlike a stereotypical girl, I never wanted to be a Disney princess I wanted to be Woody. Mostly, I'm a bloody happy person with a deafening laugh. People say I'm 'genuinely nice' quite a lot, I wonder if that means they really think I'm a pushover. Fashion isn't my forte. Winter makes me sad although I enjoy buying and wearing mittens. One day I'll be a party animal.

I'm going to reveal the depths of my heart here.